To some extent you need to understand that your self health is important, we all can understand your situation is tough, the holidays can actually be the worst time of year for some. I’ll even open my own book, I had to watch half my family sit in tears last night mourning the death of a family member, as this is our first Christmas without her, but you know what? We still all congregated together to celebrate the love we all have together. A death, though rough, does not define you, nor should it harvest all of your emotions, and it shouldn’t! You need to understand that the more you allow sorrow to sink in, and let it consume you, the more and more you delve into the mindset you’re in right now.

As for your boyfriends mother, her response was derived by the fact that you weren’t coming, not because you were coming. It sounds as if she wanted to spend Christmas with you, and instead of you elaborating that you’re sick and you’d rather stay home and not jeopardize getting his family sick, you “vaguely” said “no, I’ll be at home”.

We also don’t know how long you two have been dating, for all we know you come up with an excuse every year. Now I don’t think you’re a miserable cow, but I do think at some point you need to stop with the constant focus on the negative in your life and enjoy the positive, and spend your time with the ones who love you & appreciate them and their efforts instead of eating cold cereal & playing PlayStation like it’s a tradition to isolate yourself.