What is a "health diet" to you and what did it "drop off" and become?

Do you test your glucose after breakfast to see how high it has gone.

Sorry about your PTSD -- the feelings of traumatization will not keep you healthy, though. The higher you go from normal blood glucose readings (under 100 fasting, and under 120 two hours after eating), the more likely you are at risk and the faster that it may happen. We cannot predict your future; but we can tell you that the guidance of your future is in your hands. You have not provided nearly enough detail for us to analyze your situation. But really, you can do this on your own with a glucometer and testing to find out how your different choices of foods affect you, how your medication affects you if you, for example, raise or lower you dosage; how exercise affects you; and how not eating anything affects you. Stress, illness, hormone fluctuations are also a factor. You can figure this out -- it is constant maintenance, but it is not rocket science. If you know you are not taking it seriously, what is it you want to hear? How to make it easier? Different ideas? What the consequences are? What else could be happening?

You make it easier by eating simpler foods; and building muscle if you can.

Different ideas could be from Dr. Richard K Bernstein and Dr. Jason Fung.

This is the consequences of not taking your diabetes seriously -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWhSzQEcPMQ

You may not have common insulin resistance -- you could have T1D or PCOS or some other health issue. We don't know. See your doctor if you are not satisfied with your diagnosis.