My intention wasn't to tell you how you should feel, so apologies. My tone was too abrupt. A better way of putting it would have been that the views you've experienced don't accord with my experience of what most people think, so be reassured that they're not universal. Interestingly I've seen the same debate in straight couples, eg I have a friend who is a high earning academic, and a feminist, but at the same time her husband does all the other traditional masculine things in the relationship. She questions herself, but the conversation we've had is that you're always allowed to live in the way that you feel comfortable and that wider gender / sexuality battles do not have to be fought within your own home and relationship.