I was raised by a narcissistic father and an enabler/possibly covert narcissistic mother. I have similar issues as you and sometimes I worry I might have picked up certain personality traits from my parents. I definetely seek male attention and approval. I also have this tendency to think I'm smarter than other people and objectively I've always learned fast, been first in class, etc. but sometimes it is to the point where I don't like how I think about other people. I am also very shy and afraid of confrontation since my father did not allow us to talk back and constantly bullied us into complaince. I constantly overthink every relationship I have instead of just taking it as it is.