What triggers your deactivation?

1. i've expressed a boundary and you've ignored or belittled me. in short, if i feel unsafe around you, i start shutting down.
   

What do you do or how do you feel when deactivated?

1. i go into solo hobbies. i'll respond if you reach out, but more slowly and less enthusiastically. i try to process the feelings, but i need to do that independently. if i'm deactivated to a point where i can't even respond, and it's been a few days, i'll reach out and say i need space.
   

Do you know how long you usually deactivate on average? What is the shortest and/or longest you ever deactivated?

1. shortest: any situation in which the issue has been resolved. this normally works with reassurance that does not require me to comfort you (i.e., please don't cry if you're trying to tell me you're there for me, it'll make me feel like i have to comfort you and it'll likely annoy me)
2. longest: i deactivate pretty hard after break-ups, platonic or romantic.
   

Are there certain things, events, etc that can help you out of a deactivation?

1. honestly, most of the time, i just need some fresh air and a journal. i don't trust myself around other people when i'm that far gone because i don't want to deal with people misunderstanding me or lecturing me.
   

What, if anything, do you expect another person to do while you are deactivated?

1. reach out but in a way that doesn't make me feel like i'm being yelled at. i love words of affirmation. physical touch will make me recoil, gift-giving will make me feel like i owe you something. tell me you care about me and that you'll be there when i'm ready, and don't double message me unless it's been unreasonably long for the type of relationship we have.
   

If you are deactivated for long periods of time, let's say a month or more, do you expect others to wait around for you?

1. no. i wouldn't deactivate for that long unless we were broken up or unless we weren't close enough for me to say, "hey this isn't working." if i'm not out of it by a few days, i'll end the relationship (speaking from past experience)
   

Looking back on past deactivation, do you think you gave off any cues that deactivation was happening, or said certain things, that may help others know that this is deactivation?

1. if i'm vulnerable around you and i don't like your response, i'll go back into keeping it to small talk.