The man I dated has very strong dismissive-avoidant tendencies which showed up a bit later and he's not aware of them. He told me his relationship with the father is really bad and he refuses to even talk about it further which is fine. But his mom he described as very sweet. However, at some point, I had a mild feeling that she was over-involved. She can come to his house without notice, he freaked out once when we were having sex that his mom came in because she has keys. He didn't tell her where his date (me) lives because he was afraid it'll bring up some bad memories for her (his mom is from the town I lived at the time). They bring each other food which is sweet you may argue and I agree but I also feel some sort of overcare here. She brings him little presents for home often. They even go on summer vacation together even though they live 10 min drive apart. I must say all these are my assumptions (projections?) only, based on short-time observations. But it is also no wonder to me that he always fears for his freedom, likes to be alone to do his own thing and stonewalls/ignores because he can't say "no" to me thinking it'll hurt me (projecting). I deeply care about this man and I truly sympathize with him, I can actually access these feelings of compassion for him and his struggles for whatever reasons he has them. That's what helped me to let go with loving feelings.