Well, i think that we have to talk about the importance of therapy. Going at it alone really only can get you so far. It's why doctors never diagnose themselves. You might need to find someone who is keen on attachment theory because therapist are not all up to speed on it or even how to treat it.

But, every therapist in the world is taking video appointments. So no matter where you find someone that fits the bill, you should be able to talk to them.

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In the meanwhile, you have to keep the feelings in front of you. Realize that its your unconscious mind trying to drive the bus. Become aware of that and start to think about why you wanted to be with this person in the first place, why are they special to you when not triggered?

You literally have to create new neuro pathways in your brain that connect positive emotions to your partner. it only come with time