"Hey, I am not fighting misogyny by calling out gay men for telling women we are all just gay or for their misuse of homophobia to cover their misogyny and orientation policing". Instead, I will just support being gay friended, put on the nice guy act and then go into classic nice guy mode because I am being "gay friended" aka friendzoned.
I hang with mostly hetero men and lesbians outside of bi people and we are held down by being hoisted in our own petard. We need to start changing that. I was outed at age 8. I have only ever been identified as bisexual so I am not being rude. And from past experiences, in my 20s, the bisexual women I dated were much more expressive with their feelings.
Minus the one I fell in love with, I went through failed attempt after failed attempt with bi men in my 20s that were closeted and were having their "I think I want to be with a women" then "I love you" identity crises only to dump me out of nowhere.
It's the same with bi women. Somewhere in the 10 year gap between us and you, bisexuals have gone the totally opposite way like trans people. Our culture has only recently socially been forced into gay culture. Most of these norms don't come from bisexual liberation (the big rainbow borg calls it bisexual chic because heteros liked us more and saw us as evolved). Trans people had a different name and mentality altogether. In many ways, this community destroyed our two communities. I think when we were more apt to face hetero people like equals as well as not care if they thought this either way, our older group (our 30s are our best years, believe it). Abuse and poverty rates are worse there. IDK.
Those grimy homophobic hetero men who have bi women and trans fetishes etc were the same types that expected fellatio. Hetero and gay men regularly need to be reiterated that our orientation isn't theirs to speak for. We avoided mixed orientation relationships for the most part in the past too and these days it's the opposite. I hardly see bi people with one another.
And ignoring the predominantly hetero bi people because they can't be queer washed is another way that we do this to ourselves. Heterosexuality is part of us, it cannot be our enemy and isn't less than or more than the other parts of who we are. I can spot the ambiguous bisexual types that I date and have yet to not have it fail. I ask questions they can conceptualize that gay/straight people cannot. I put out bi-fi but given the "bi/gay" attitude you have, you've adopted the "only the male aspect of my sexual orientation matters" attitude so you're probably going keep it up until you wake up.
We were never this miserable. We were the opposite. Just and observation and only of those of us who knew. I don't get the closet crap but you are programmed to seem bad because of this community.