U might just be out of the honeymoon. Or ADHD object impermanance. Aka when u are with her u are over the moon when u are not u are like meh?

Yeah sexuality does take time as there is some homophobic things u need to unlearn, its not big stuff, just little thing like how a relationship dynamic works, alot of ppl realize the sexual or romantic part of their sexuality before the other. And there is also the acceptance of being in a queer relationship yourself.

U also need to know the (genders/genitals/self expression) that u are attracted to, what u fancy what u don't

Figure out what u are sexually attracted to and what u are romantically attracted to. U don't need a label for all of that , just figure out what u like first.