I was blind to my daughter’s (15) sexual abuse for so long and I feel like a terrible mother. Every time I see her I just break down.

It may not be kosher to tone police, especially on this subreddit, but there are certain things that need to be said, and the people who keep telling OP that they need to get their priorities straight might want to consider the following:

1.) We don’t know what time of day OP posted this. It could have been midnight where they are for all we know and they may have been preparing to go to the police first thing in the a.m. Or they could have been typing in the car or in line at the police station. 2.) OP is clearly hurting and is seeking help from every available source, and while reddit advice is very hit and miss, it is occasionally a useful community. The point is, they need support and sympathy, not angry strangers condemning their priorities. Put yourself in their place if you can. Maybe they need to be redirected, but not told off or torn down. 3.) Going to the police is a very problematic action for many members of society, even for people with legitimate problems to report. I am not saying they should not go, because they clearly should. However, they may need to consider which cop they want to talk to or which police station has the more receptive staff.

OP, I don’t know your story beyond what you posted, but it is certainly valid for you to feel horrible, esp since you mentioned this dredged up trauma in your past. This is not something to be afraid of - you are also on your own healing journey. Please see a therapist about this. Have your daughter see a therapist too. I have a parent who endorses my own need for therapy but who refuses to deal with some of their own deeply buried and painful traumas, and believe me, we would both be better off if they took care of themself too.

/r/relationship_advice Thread