Can you hear my point without screaming with outrage?
I think tone is incredibly difficult to read via text so I understand if you think I was outraged. I think my tone was pretty calm because I feel like I get into these discussions a lot. Perhaps you felt attacked because a number of other people downvoted you, but it wasn't me.
"We"? Maybe you guys do. I dont start those threads, or even fuel them, or go around crying "what about men" on each thread, or post on here regularly enough to see those threads.
I think you misunderstand me here. We means the collective sub. This isn't an attack on you. I'm explaining a common trope that we see on the sub in the ways in which we talk about race and race issues. It's problematic on both fronts.
I was just asking specifically which thread you were referring to, hoping you would link to the gaslighting so that I could read it. Gaslighting it a really specific thing that happens more commonly to women so I thought it might be an interesting juxtapostion (which you point out). Especially considering my point about how we often talk about the issues of MOC and not WOC. The issue with the way we talk about MOC is that it's often coming from a particular set of users who wrap these discussions up in full out misogyny and it's hard to talk about problematic race concepts when it's swimming in sexism.
Now maybe there are 1000 other threads whining about being a POC man and none about dating as a black woman, so you might be sick of hearing about it, but that doesn't make my point any less true. The fact that this issue hits closer to home to you doesnt make the other any less valid.
This was literally the point I was making. I was commenting on the fact that your comment played into the trope. It doesn't make is not valid BUT it does act as a way of derailing an important conversation that we ARE having. And this derailing happens almost EVERY time we have the conversation. Which is why I felt the need to respond.
The fact that this issue hits closer to home to you doesnt make the other any less valid.
Oh absolutely! This is why I pointed it out. I wanted to be open about my positionality in the conversation and perhaps point out any biases I might have.