If you consult r/polyamory you will see what happens when one partner suddenly decides to change things with no communication or warning.

I choose to trust my partner. I choose to believe what he tells me. I choose not to think of him as a liar. I think a lot of That Other Subreddit folks want to automatically believe that I've been lied to, but it's just not the case. Just because I'm in a relationship with a married person doesn't mean he's a liar.

I never said her being disabled means she doesn't have that right. Her suddenly changing things and her being disabled are two separate issues. Her being disabled means their relationship really isn't romantic anymore.

Her suddenly wanting to change things actually isn't okay. You actually can't just say an open relationship is okay and then change things suddenly.

And even if she did, do you realistically think that means I just go away? That's not how that works. At all.

He's talked to her about it. She's said she changed her mind. That doesn't mean the relationship with me ends and I just go away. It means more communication and understanding why she feels that way.

I've had to cope. She will learn to cope too. But our relationship is much better now that we don't discuss her anymore, and he doesn't discuss me with her anymore, which will probably make her happier in the long run.