Man, this post could have been written by me. I'm a 40 M and live almost everything you're describing.

The linking of social connection to sexuality is extremely potent. The role playing dynamic, often "catfishing" others pretending to be someone I'm not, that feeling of being zoned in and peripherally unaware of time or the outside world. For me, my trigger is literally just a busy day at work. That 1:00-2:00pm itch where morning routines are done, the coffee has worn off, and now it's just grinding on tasks until EOD. The tighter the deadline, the more triggered I am to escape and piss away precious minutes/hours roleplaying and chatting with others instead of just working. Then, like a kid who forgot his school project until the night before, I come rushing back to work and speed through it all last minute.

I relate as well to not feeling like a "sex addict" in the classic sense. I'm often not even horny when I'm chatting/roleplaying. I'm just getting dopamine from playing the role, tricking someone successfully into thinking I'm someone I'm not. Sometimes I don't even MB at all while doing it. It's just that rush of communication. So being in a room of addicts who are tangibly engaged in sex acts feels separate from how I (mis)behave.

Do you have periods of your life where you don't feel this pull to role-play at all? Analyze what you are doing (and what you are NOT doing) during those periods that makes it different from times where you are triggered to act out.