Childhood bullying causes worse long-term mental health problems than maltreatment

Well I don't really know how to start this but here it goes. My home life consisted of being told when to get up, when to eat, when to do chores, when to go to school, when to play with friends under supervision, when to do homework, and finally when to go back to bed. Failure to comply with any of these times and you get variations of a couple slaps to kick'em well he's down. That's my "mom" (I'm adopted, they told me early for the record) My "dad" is an LSD burnout and is somehow living in the past. Not far but like 15-20 seconds for sure. I only ever got two smack downs from him, but DON'T do it. I can't remember what it is but DON'T do it. And also don't steal. Like anything ever. Ok. So maltreatment from adults, I think I can check that box. School bullying, alright I got this. You know that really small kid the one who is half as small as the rest. That was me, pick any year I was in school ever. Yep. The highlights are Grade four, a forty five minute bus ride with the whole bus chanting that I'm gay. Grade six, picked up and tossed into a fight circle with another kid ending non-violently with the deft use of my spear tackle and wrestling capabilities. Holy Shit I Won! Pow! Right in the back of the head, oh hey, nice boots. Na it's cool I already saw them man. Well if you insist, I guess I'll take a closer look. Grade 9, walking down the hall first week, a super tall senior just grabs me by the shoulder and threw me down the hall like he was bowling. Grade 11, cut through the back going outside to get to my next class, was winter but didn't grab my coat. This huge fucker grabs me, throws me in the snow and holds me there. Ok. So I think that's covered now the effects. Please note, in all the time I was bullied I was taught to never fight. Not that I was unable to do so. As the years went by my anger was channeled directly into me. By that I mean I would flex my muscle's. Sometimes when I was really mad a would get so rigid that I couldn't move. Go through the years and seriously you should do this people. Just flex every muscle like your Goku or some shit. I weigh 140lbs and I can lift 250lbs and walk around with it. I look like I hit the gym all the time. Not once not ever. I'm a gamer and a movie enjoyer. So hey a bonus. Now the Dark side. Not a single month goes by where I don't think at least once, that if I could go back in time...I WOULD PUNCH THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS IN FACE so fucking fast and not let up like a fucking wild chimpanzee. I smoke copious amounts of weed, mostly at night before I go to bed. Insomnia, If I don't smoke. I don't sleep. Did not smoke until I was 18 besides a few times in high school. When I started smoking this was the key factor in it's continued use. I have severe depression for sure, couple episodes where I just DNGAF and slept for months while just being a bum. The plus here is I am a fairly defiant person and don't really give up, so it's not really I'm sad and I want to die. It's more, I'm smoldering and I would kindly like 6.8 billion people to please leave now. In Conclusion, I sometimes feel like the angriest man in the world. I worry that one day some tiny fiber in my brain is going to snap and I'm going to start just walking down the street punching people in the face.

Well since I've never had a therapist or really talked about this ever I would like to thank everyone for letting me share.

TLDR; Maltreatment at home. Bullying at school. Two wrongs don't make a right!

/r/science Thread Link - sciencedaily.com