I don’t really want to dwell on this or get into details, but type of rape I experienced did permanently damage my genitalia, and yes, I’m very self-conscious about it and it does impact my ability to enjoy sex. It’s still different from what you experienced though, and I understand that. It does make sex painful, and due to that, I’m constantly reminded of it, so that makes it VERY difficult to enjoy sex, but it is possible with the right person in the right circumstances, but it’s not easy.

They’re some of his favorite moments based on what he tells me. He would have to be an academy award winning actor to fake the joy and intimacy that he displayed during those moments. I do know our sex life is impacted negatively by the trauma we’ve both endured, and it sucks, but we are still capable of using sex to bring us closer and fill then need for intimacy.

I wouldn’t give up on it altogether, is all I’m saying. It’s understandable that you choose to, and I did for years, and so did my husband (he was 37 when he lost his virginity, 45 when he met me and had his first orgasm during sex), but I’m glad that we both worked through our issues and were able to experience that together. We actually have a lot of work to do to get back on track with that, because for people with our problems, we tend to be avoidant of sex, but it definitely has a negative impact on our relationship when we avoid it. It does decrease intimacy a lot.