Similarly, I used to do stand up at open mic nights at a little dive bar in my town. I did it once and actually did pretty well to a crowd of like 25, and I have anxiety so it really got my confidence up to do it again. Second time was a bit different, I only knew my then gf, and 3 pals. I got up on stage and did my first bit I memorized, and I had my phone open with a notepad with key words I could glance at and jump into a joke... well the notepad app started fucking up and closing, and my mind was completely blank. I would do a joke, get it open and tell another. Those 5 second pauses were the longest pauses of my life and the audience was staring into my soul. I started apologizing and saying "umm" and "what the fuck" every 20 seconds. I finished my set but I was about to vomit and I was shaking so bad. I couldn't figure out why the app was fucking up, well after I went outside to smoke I saw I had 100 text messages from my gf... she sending periods over and over again making my phone slow as hell... it was humiliating and I regret dating her and not using paper.