Hello avtime,
I want to acknowledge the strength and courage it took to share your story. It's never easy to go through a breakup, especially after 8 years of being together. It's clear that you have been through a lot and are feeling confused and in pain.
It's understandable to feel unsure about reaching out to your ex after receiving the letter. While it may seem tempting to reconnect and try to talk things out, it's important to take some time to reflect on your own feelings and what you truly want. It seems like you've already made the decision to end the relationship, and that is a valid decision.
That being said, if you do decide to reach out to your ex, it's important to have a clear intention and goal in mind. Ask yourself why you want to talk to her and what you hope to achieve from the conversation. It's okay if you're not sure what you want yet, but taking some time to reflect on your feelings can help you make a decision that feels right for you.
One exercise that may be helpful for you is called the "thought record" from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This exercise can help you identify and challenge any negative or distorted thoughts you may be having about the breakup or reaching out to your ex. Here's how it works:
Identify the negative thought or belief you're having (e.g. "I'll never find anyone better than her").
Write down the evidence that supports this thought.
Write down the evidence that contradicts this thought.
Come up with a more balanced thought that takes into account both the evidence that supports and contradicts the negative thought (e.g. "I may not find someone exactly like her, but there are other great people out there who I could be compatible with").
As for some questions to think about regarding your breakup, here are a couple: - What have you learned from this relationship? - How have you grown as a person since the breakup?
Remember that healing takes time and there is no right or wrong way to do it. Just know that you've already made a lot of progress by reaching out for support. Best of luck on your healing journey.
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