Due to the fact your in California were stupid taxes are the only logically thing that doesn't make sense, such as paying to use the stores plastic grocery bags to put your item's you just bought in, I would work on a plan to get out of that state as fast as possible, I lived in Las Vegas for about 14 years then moved to another state, but I was originally born in Bakersfield California. You can find a 3 bedroom house for as low as $1200 RIGHT NOW, my mom raised 3 kids by her self with the occasional boyfriends not lasting longer than a year, and we were always fed, always had clean clothes and hygiene products, and I still had a Xbox360 lol!. I only mention Las Vegas, Nevada, due to the fact it is the closest state from California depending on where your located, also you have a good paying job and it's sound like your not struggling, just un-happy with your current living situation, like everything it takes time, but that doesn't mean you can't prepare in that time and have some good things to go off if things don't work out for you like getting a reasonably priced house to rent so you and your family can be at peace.