The US is that asshole in school. Who's always talking about how great he is. Gonna do big things. Keeps beating up some smaller kids for their lunch money or makes them do his homework. You think he's going to be great one day... at being the bum behind the pub who begs for change.

He leaves school. You think you've finally heard the end of him. But he then makes the papers with a huge fight in his dysfunctional family. Such a big fight that it almost drags in your family and the rest of the neighborhood. And you're like, Ha! And then he's gone off and there's quiet for a while.

And then this bastard shows up again. Now he's rich. Kinda handsome. He's still loud but this time girls won't leave him alone. He's got cash everywhere. He just flings it around like its nothing. He's muscular. Shows up at one of your fights and helps end it. Shows up again and does the same thing. Says you're the best buddy he's ever had. Gives you a big manly handshake which crushes your fingers, but he doesn't notice your grimace. You're kinda grateful for the help, but you really wish he'd just go away. You'd send him a thank-you note and that would be the end of it.

He's older now. He didn't go away. Still muscular but has a paunch. Still rich but not as much. Thinks a lot about his glory days. Still overwhelmingly loud. Sometimes he's rational. Sometimes he's funny. And, most worrisome, sometimes he's flat out fucking bonkers. Always threatening fights. Sometimes even starting them but usually leaving them midway. Doesn't have the nerve he used to. He's younger than you but you think he's definitely the one who's going senile first.

Sometimes he babbles about God. You think you can walk away while he's distracted, but he always pulls you back in for the big manly bear hug. Still doesn't notice your grimace has become permanent.