Being with someone almost 20 years isn't long enough? Obviously everyone is attracted to people outside of their relationship, but when you both make good sex a priority and have a wonderful emotional relationship, it's easy not to search outside of your marriage for gratification. And I've heard the traumatizing stories and deep down urges (that don't involve me or anyone like me) so that's not an issue.

Not to mention that both partners respecting personal interests/freedom is a big way to get rid of staleness. My husband goes on "guys' trips" a few times a year out of state and has at least a few nights completely to himself to do whatever he wants every week. I'm not stepping on his toes, because no one wants to be micromanaged and smothered. He leaves me alone when I want to be alone, too. The more time you spend with someone, the more you talk about life and how to make things work. It can be hard for people who aren't willing to compromise or see someone else's point of view, but it's doable. When my husband is happy, I'm happy, and vice versa.

Again, most people make marriage work if they take a good hard look at the person they're considering marrying & know what they're in for beforehand. People do grow and change; a marriage when you're 60 won't be the same marriage you had when you were 45. The key is to be openminded and accepting of whatever changes occur as long as they're not destructive or demeaning. My husband can be as weird as he wants and I can be as weird as I want; as long as we still love each other, have a good sexual relationship, and work together to keep a roof over our heads we'll be fine.