I think I took my bulking too far.

When I was younger I was chubby. Lost a ton of weight, and was sitting at around 155 10% at 5'11. Didn't lift, just had a good diet.

Started feeling like a piece of nothing so I started lifting, and got addicted to getting bigger (obviously). Now I'm sitting at 225 after a few years, and several bulks in a row later, but 17 or 18% bodyfat.

Sure, my arms went from 13 inches to 17 inches, and I guess I got the "size" I wanted...but looking back at old photos, my jawlines gone. None of my clothes fit, I had an entire wardrobe of medium clothes, size 40 suits, size 31 pants....now I'm an XL in everything, size 36 pants, size 48 suits. Nothing fits, I have to go back and re-buy everything. I look ridiculous in all pants, even the ones that fit with 27 inch quads.

I deadlift 445, squat 355, bench 265...all that shit I always thought was cool and wanted...but fuck, I just feel fat now. Like a big fat powerlifter.

Every-time I try to cut though (I'm natty), I feel like I'm losing muscle...and what did I get fat for if I'm going to not be big, so I always stop cutting. I also still always want to be bigger, and that's more fun and easier so it always wins out.

I should have just went for 170 at 12% and been happy with it.