Dalrock recapitulates the advice we have been giving on MRP about this issue and I have to say it is nice being validated by one of the greats of the manosphere.

Your wife (and even your girlfriend) wants you to be her rock, especially if her own emotions are storming over her. This is a profound gift a husband can give his wife, and should not be seen as something negative. A wife also relies on her husband for protection and financial support of the family. For these reasons there is a limit as to what kinds of things and more importantly how, how much, and how often you talk about these things with your wife.

What if something really bad is happening- do you open up then? Sure! Just have plan to solve it:

What you don’t want is for the received message to be “you are in danger because I’m not fit to be your husband”. This is true even in cases where there is real danger that she needs to understand. In those cases you want to communicate clearly about the threat, but not push her into hopelessness. The message should be, “problem X exists, and we’re going to solve it”

When do you provide comfort?

letting her feel protected in your strength is something which should become natural to you when you sense that she may need this...pay attention more to what she does than what she says, you will get a gut feel of how much and what types of things you should be communicating to her.

(Dalrock is asked): I go to a church that is real big on being “vulnerable” and that if you are not constantly talking to your friends and especially your wife about all your struggles and weaknesses, then you are being sinfully self-protective and “un-spiritual.”

And he answers:

This kind of teaching comes from the same place as the push in parts of Europe to get men to sit down to pee. The idea that men and women are the same isn’t biblical, and of course it isn’t true.

What about the anger stage?

you aren’t losing pretty lies (lies are inherently ugly), you are gaining a beautiful truth. Feminists inside and outside the church had to sell this false message for decades because what they are asking men to do doesn’t feel natural, because it isn’t natural. It took generations of deception. Healthy well adjusted men aren’t emotive like women, and we aren’t chatty.

Thanks Dalrock for all that you do.