Was about a year into a new relationship a few years ago when this happened. We had just finished a dinner date and were on our way back to her place for some after dinner fun, and pawing at each other the whole way back she lived out in the sticks about a half hour outside the city limits. I hadn't been feeling the greatest that week, and being stuffed to the gills from dinner, my insides started to rumble something fierce. As we were passing the Google server building in our area, I couldn't hold it anymore and was about to have a serious 'accident', so I said to please, please pull over for a second. I ran into a bunch of taller weeds like cattails, and barely got my pants down when I let the liquid projectile shit spray all over. Cattails usually grow in swampy areas, so I was standing in ankle deep, freezing water. Also, because I had ran out there so fast, I hadn't thought of what I was gonna wipe myself with. Was wearing a cotton long sleeve shirt, and took that off to use. When I was finished, I came out of the weeds shirtless, and covered in mud up to my knees. The entire ride home she couldn't stop laughing to my embarrassment. Needless to say, she helped me with some fresh clothes to change into before coming in the apartment. She also just cuddled me the whole rest of the night. Every once in awhile, the story of the shit shirt will come up, but I can laugh about it now too...