Update:
Thank you everyone for the feedback. Truthfully we've been together a long time and have a kid together so there's more to it than I put in this post. My mental health has been a big part of our relationship for years so it's fair to think that my behaviour on a long enough time line has changed the way she thinks about me. I'm no peach, believe me. She's had plenty of reason to kick me out over the years, but despite that she has been supportive in many ways over the course of our relationship.
That said, I knew that she wasn't treating me fairly and I appreciate all of the feedback. I told her today that if she wanted to remain in a relationship with me she had to block this guy and change her number with no more dating profiles in the future. She wasn't willing to agree to this so at least we are at an honest point. She also acknowledged that if I hadn't caught her, she wouldn't have told me. We are now looking at options with moving forward separately in mind.
The support I got from this thread really helped me today. I don't feel like discussing this with any of my friends because it makes me feel awful, and I don't want anyone to think less of my wife.. so thanks for being there.