scene opens in Paddys Pub

Mac: "Charlie, holy shit for the last time, STOP putting beer bottles in the garbage disposal. the last time I called the plumber to fix this, he came in, took all his clothes off, and challenged meto a shirtless leg wrestling competition. I had to skip leg day for two weeks after and I can not afford do that again before Fleet Week. And he never even fixed the garbage disposal!"

Charlie: exasperated "Mac, that was a stripper, who you called, and you're the one who challenged him to a "competition of calf mass." Stop using bus newspapers to hire plumbers! he didn't even bring a wrench!"

Mac: "his legs had no definition whatsoever. It had to be done."

Charlie: "Plus, eeeeehhhhhh you're wrong. when I put the bottles in the crushy fridge at Shoprite, it rewards me with nickels so I can buy my milk and steak and yarn and it's just a very complicated ecosystem that you wouldn't understand! Just put the bottles in the chompy sink and I'll handle the rest, I have a system. and make sure to save the cans for Frank, he likes to use them as "Just Married" car cans so he can park in handicapped spots and not get a ticket."

Dennis: "you know, if we took all the empties, filled them with keg foam, we could resell them as Paddy's Growlers..."

Charlie: "wait how do you know about Growling? That's my secret Nightcrawlers move. Have you been talking to Frank? has frank been nanny camming nightcrawlers online again?"

Dee enters

"GUESS WHO JUST GOT FRONT ROW BRITNEY SPEARS TICKETS ON CRAIGSLIST FOR $400 DOLLARS, BITCHES!"

Mac: "shut up Dee."

Dennis: "Wait, let me see. Those are supposed to be impossible to get, maybe we can get backstage. I could be her next Sam Lufti."

dennis inspects tickets

Dennis: "who the fuck is Derrick Barry?"

its always sunny in philadelphia credits song