Hi, I know this is a weird place to post this but I feel like you will understand and be able to provide me with some insight. I'm 23 years old and asexual cis male and I'm getting increasingly guilty about turning down friends and people I meet wanting to have a sexual relationship with me. It's not very often, but it comes up enough that I get really anxious and worried I'm frustrating others by turning them down. A few years back my friend Josh asked me to come back over to his place, after his boyfriend at the time broke up with him. I took him up on his offer and he started trying to make out with me and kiss my neck after a few drinks. I was really uncomfortable but knew that I shouldn't turn him down considering what happened to him and I didn't want to possibly be homophobic by turning him down. he was telling me how much he wanted to just sleep with me and how much he needed me to get him off. He got pissed off that I wouldn't get hard for him but I let him have sex with me and although I really didn't enjoy it, I knew that I wasn't in a place to say no and be a good friend and ally. A short while later Josh got back with his ex and moved. I don't hear from him anymore. Fast forward to last Friday night, I was at party with a bunch of friends and was introduced to Brandi. She was a bit shy about talking about herself at first but started to open up about how she was new in town and finally felt okay presenting as a woman in public and really wanted to dance at this party. After doing some lines with my friends she starts to pull me towards the dance floor area and grind up on me. Everybody was laughing and hooting and I was just trying to look like I was into it. After a few songs she pulls me down the hallway and starts telling me we should head back my place, I told her I'd like to hang out sometime but I couldn't (I had to go to work right after, night shift ugh) so I gave her my number and told her to shoot me a text tomorrow night. She started sending me some really sexual texts and she clearly wants to hook up with me. I had told her I was asexual but she wasn't believing me. She was telling me how she can make me hard and how she wants me to give it to her. I told her I wasn't interested but she keeps texting me calling me an asshole for leading her on and that transphobes like me are ruining her life. I don't know what to do, I feel like shit. I'm getting too anxious to log into facebook or check my phone. I'm worried my friends are going to hear I turned her down and hate me for being transphobic.