Omg totally yes. I just popped back into this sub and here's the perfect post for me to vent.
Since young, my dad always wanted me to do better, even though I had decent grades (think top 10%). Here in Singapore, we've national exams at 12 y/o which determines which secondary school you're posted to. Needless to say, they pushed me very hard so I ended up with over 10 hours of extra classes (rare for children my age) spread across one day every week. It wasn't too demanding, or at least I didn't feel that way at that time.
I did well in the exam and got admitted to the top school in my country. They had a 6 year programme which allowed us to skip the O levels (taking the A levels instead in our 6th year). I'm currently in the 5th year where some O level top performers are admitted to my school. At the end of the 4th year, I was at around the 40th percentile of my cohort (slightly below average) and my parents weren't too happy with that. They were looking for more, even though I was ranked among the best in my country.
As always, year after year, they've insisted I spend my year-end holidays (6 weeks) reading up on content to be taught the following year, sometimes expecting me to even be able to recite and teach the content. I put up with it over the past few years by simply doing as little as I could to get away with but still hated this idea of spending time at home studying topics which might even be excluded from content taught the following year. It was especially frustrating as they'd ask for numerous details whenever I wanted to go out with my friends as well as limit my electronics use at home. It felt really agonizing when I see pictures of my friends out on social media. Last year was no different.
I'm one year away from my A levels in next October, but they've been increasingly restricting my outings with my friends or class although I'm older now. It has gotten to the point that making up excuses to go out has been my preferred way out, instead of telling them the truth and the details. Of course, I'd run out of excuses sooner or later and have to turn down invites before they'd even hear about it (lest they think I've been hanging around a 'bad' group of friends).
Along with the restrictions came longer expectations of my study time. They'd scold and chide whenever they see me on my phone or playing games/using social media on my computer. This means little to no recreation time, in their eyes, If they were in a bad mood, confiscating them is common. It's become so bad that I jump when I hear my door open from outside.
I've tried explaining to them I didn't want to be in the top percentiles if it means sacrificing everything else, social lives and friends, but they still have the same expectations of me.
I've pretty much given up on trying to convince them, instead just putting up a fake persona. I'm sick and tired of showing them that I'm studying yet turning down invites and outings with my friends with no good reason.
I'm sorry if this is incoherent, I just wanted to rant.