My "best friend" betrayed me in a night of drunkenness that led to sexual assault on me by a man 16 yrs. older than me and I do blame myself partially for what happened...11PM-4AM Pacific Time.

I had turned 21, three months earlier before the incident and I quit my job at Safeway on 7/11/12. Well let's call my (former) best friend "sunflower", she and I decided to have a party. I still lived with my parents and they didn't approve of me drinking. SO I told them I was going to house sit with Sunflower but I was really going to throw a party with only 4 people including myself in a city I didn't know much about...

SO it was me and Sunflower, at her boyfriend’s (we will call him Daffodil) apartment with his roommate and we’ll call this dude, Stink Flower. We drank and drank, I remember we took shots of 99 Bananas, drank Mikes Lemonade, drank Coors Light (fav beer) and Rainier Beer AND I smoked weed but Sunflower and Daffodil didn't. I got so fucking crossfaded that I had passed out on the couch, somehow with Stink Flower. I honestly don’t remember HOW I ended up there. But he started feeling my breasts, and I thought it felt good (I was a virgin at the time and curious), he started kissing me (keep in mind I’m zoning in and out of consciousness) I DO remember kissing back, and then BOOM, I am NAKED in Stink Flowers bedroom. I’m in his bed and he fingers me, which just felt like pressure. But then all of a sudden I feel pain “down there”. Don’t remember how (I believe it was God) but all of a sudden I burst full of energy and I get out of the bed, naked and everything, put my clothes on and ran down stairs…crying. I don’t remember much from there and screaming “rape” going into the bathroom and adding minutes onto my cellphone. I came out of the bathroom and pretended to be asleep on the couch that everything started on, Sunflower and Daffodil went for a smoke out front, and so I got up and made way towards the sliding screen door in the back of the apartment. I got outside and waited for them to go inside then I tried to haul ass outta there but they caught me. Since much of this story is foggy to me, I will end it with me ending up in Sunflower’s mustang and her telling me that it pretty much wasn’t a big deal compared to her being “raped by her ex-boyfriend. I was running down the street calling people I know with Sunflower and Daffodil chasing me, but gave up at some point. Yet no one answered but my friend (whom I met on Facebook 3 years prior (have not met in person) and I am still good friends with today) answer and he tried to help but his phone died. I tried to get a Lady’s attention so she could help me but she shooed me off her apartment property. So I FINALLY decided to call my parents early in the AM to come get me. They answered and I got saved. They took me home, I cried with them, got yelled at by my dad and was eventually taking to a nearby hospital for a rape kit. Took a plan B pill and other tests.. Ultimately I did not press charges against Stink Flower because I knew that I am at fault as well and over the next three years have learned about myself, I am still considered a virgin according to professionals because my hymen was not broken and I have no STD. My friend I met on Facebook contacted my mother via Facebook and let her know I was in trouble while this was happening. True fucking friend. Let me know if you have questions… TL;DR I was sexually assaulted but I never pressed charges cause I do think I am at fault, stopped being friends with B.F.F but found out who I was and found my true friends.