That's definitely what she believes, and something that I picked up from her and had to unlearn. It's a toxic combination of anxiety and depression. Even if she had the energy to try, she'd be too scared to.

That's why I'm LC with her. I don't try to "help" her or meddle in her life or expect anything other than for her to respect my boundaries. I just talk to her about once a week or less for an hour or less.

It's been very strange to watch her grow. It's almost like she stopped maturing and developing in her early 20s when she met my father, and now that he's gone she's picking up where she left off. I don't want to get into it but I swear she's shocking me with positive changes in her behavior and the way she treats people. It's only been a year since she filed for divorce/moved out, but I almost don't recognize her. Maybe one day we could have an actual relationship. I think it's fair to need time to recover from 20+ years of abuse, if you actually intend to recover. I know it took me time to recover from my father, and I'm still recovering.

I don't know if she wants to recover or will. Or if she doesn't or won't. Either way I'm okay. I'm just not the person she should be venting her frustrations to, it should be her pastor or future therapist or her mom or literally anyone but either of her daughters. Drives me right up the wall.