Hi. I actually haven't been on this sub for a while now but it popped up and I figured I'd contribute.

I'm 30 now and have been diagnosed with depression since I was 10. I've been on every medication to help balance me out and I stopped when I was about 20 or so and thought I could be good without it, and some people can be. But I couldn't deal with my lack of emotion so I stopped.

Now here I am. Single. 30. 1 year old beautiful daughter. No friends. I'm on 150mg of Wellbutrin a day and I feel pretty good. I still have shit days but I feel better than I used to. I'm supposed to take lexapro also... But seriously, fuck that shit. That's the worst thing I've ever taken and people I've known who have been on it have been fucked up as well. Apathy comes and goes but you have to really find what YOU like to do. What YOU want to do.

If you're on meds and you have no emotion or care, please... seriously look into it as a side effect and talk to your doc to change your meds. You should be able to feel and care. Just dial it in until it works. This at this milligram works for this person but it could screw someone else up. Trust your feelings and not what your doc says you should take. Tell them what you don't like if you're on meds, then they know how to dial you in.

Watch a new show, shut it off its shit, find another one and repeat. Play a game, video game, board game. Do something you did as a kid that made you happy and destroy it with laughter now and love the nostalgia. Talk to people about it. If nobody wants to hear it, talk to me about it.

My only issues now are that I have things that make me happy but I have no friends or a partner to share it with. I guess that's my main barrier to what my brain thinks would be full happiness.

It's late and I'm ranting and I'll probably just get downvotes. But yeah, that's me and my spare change. Social anxiety, depression, bipolar, all that good stuff. If anyone needs someone to talk to, please get in touch. It's easier that way.