I think the comments here are pretty spot on regarding attraction versus action but this isn’t really an issue of sexual attraction or lust. Sexual feelings generally intensify as women grow older and most marriages develop cracks over time as well. You don’t mention how old you are or how long you’ve been with your fiancé but my personal feeling is that the responses here seem a little untested and rosy.

My marriage hit a rough spot about ten years in and this added dimension made things so much worse. My once secure husband became fixated on the idea that I might leave him for a woman. I started to wonder inside whether the issues are related to having a stronger attraction towards women - whether the loneliness is because of SSA or because of something broken in the marriage - and then having to be OK with never knowing the answer to that question. That was a serious test of my faith and I went away from God for a while. Be prepared for your once totally supportive husband to bring it up during a moment of insecurity or during sex.

Not just that, but this will extend beyond you and him. Emotional chastity is a real issue. It’s pretty accepted that married women shouldn’t become close friends with men, but a married woman with SSA having close female friendships? I hope this is not the case for you, but be prepared to see those relationships diminish or become increasingly inauthentic over time as well.

An older, wiser lesbian (divorced from a man) told me all this stuff when I was 23 and engaged and I stubbornly thought it would be different for me. I’m 40 now and everything she warned me about has come true. I don’t regret getting married one bit and I would marry my husband again in a heartbeat, but you might find this issue to be a bit more complex than resisting SSA.