I feel this so much. Im sorry youre going through it...

It's so hard for me to get anything done around the house during the week. I leave so much for the weekend and plan how illd divide it up Friday ĺafternoon Saturday, Sunday... just a couple hours a day right? Nope. And it's the word I've been seeing in the comments here. Dread. So much dread. Dread to start. Dread as time slips away. Dread at the days going by.

I was diagnosed a few months ago at 36. I have no real tools to deal with it, but double doubling is so effective for me.. every now and then, I hire a single mom with small house cleaning service to come over. Usually 2 hours before she gets here, I start frantically tidying (there's so much kids sh!t in my house). When she does arrive, we both get to cleaning. It's about 3-4 hours of deep cleaning. Getting laundry hung, whatever typing is left, some light sorting, vacuum, mop, dusting, whatever.

I use to think why waste the money if I could do it myself. Honestly, it's not a waste. It's worth it. I have her come once a month.

I try to have someone come over for a visit a couple times between, so I get kick started into frantically cleaning. I can't always, people are older, kids and work etc.

Even if you dont have a non-judgemental friend with time to do check ins or can get a cleaner... maybe you can find a highschool kid looking for an easy buck to stop by a few hours once a week or two to help you.

Also.. are you getting out? I'm just asking because the way you describe how you feel, the worst possible way you could, is how I felt during lockdowns and sink there every now and then when I work from home too often. Are you changing your scenery at all? If not, try to a bit. It'll refresh you at least a bit not to look at it all the whole day.