Wow, thanks! This is very thoughtful, and the kind of different perspective I was hoping to get here. I guess I did see that original agreement as more of a COVID-only thing and not a precursor to commitment. The kiss happened, and I figured I could wait a few days, get a test, and it would be over within a few days of him being back. I can see how he might have been thinking about it differently. It makes sense then that while for me, it seemed like a natural time to discuss exclusivity, for him it would be the opposite.

To be clear, I don't think anything he's done is wrong--I guess I just wonder how much is worth negotiating when 2 people are experiencing the same relationship so differently.