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I think there can be pros and cons to asking for profile and dating advice from friends vs. strangers, which you're experiencing. I try to keep vanilla and non-vanilla advice separate because what works in the kink community is going to turn off non-kink people who think by "sub," you mean wanting to be locked up in a dog crate each night. I think some folks forget this when they critique vanilla profiles and don't take in account that knee-jerk reactions will be to swipe left on any mention of that.

and they specifically recommended that I add those things for the sake of clarity.

See, when I look at it from a vanilla perspective, it creates more confusion. Confusion is not good on dating profiles, especially when it's associated with sex stuff. The details would be appropriate on Fet but are likely costing matches on Bumble or Hinge.

All the men I mentioned previously said they struggled with the same issues as you when they openly disclosed their power exchange preferences on vanilla bios. After rewording things to appeal to women's personalities, matches went up and then their problem was ending up with women inexperienced with kink or FLR, which is probably what you'll have to deal with. Some were interested in trying it out but ended up not enjoying putting the D in D/s. Still, I think the changes leading to more matches meant more opportunities instead of repelling women who have negative assumptions connected to kink.

Are you on Bumble? That app requires women to message first.

I do already have blurbs about the kind of person I'm looking for

Just some extra general advice, don't forgot to keep your profile more about you, your hobbies, and what you have to offer. I think it's good to have a "What I'm looking for" blurb but I find myself swiping left on profiles that say "I want you to be so and so" like they have a shopping list they're ticking off while looking for women. Brag a little about yourself and what makes you unique. That'll hopefully help catch someone's eye.

/r/datingoverthirty Thread Parent