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I(f35) have been casually seeing this guy(m34) that I had briefly dated years ago since late 2022. I initially reached out to him and we both established we were single and things went from there. Around Christmas communication dropped off, but we got back in contact and have been seeing each other somewhat regularly. We have not had a discussion as to the nature of our relationship but I had no reason to doubt that he was single until today. There have been a few things that happened recently that alerted my woman's intuition that something was not lining up. Basically, I realized that one of 'his' vehicles actually belongs to his most recent ex and this set off an internet sleuthing marathon. The house he lives in, which I have visited frequently, he owns with this ex and the pet he recently adopted made an appearance on her social media, in which she claimed the pet as hers. It is glaringly obvious they are still involved to some extent and I need to figure out what is going on. She travels a lot so it they may still be living together and he has hidden evidence of that when I go over. If they got back together or have been together the whole time I obviously want her to know he has been unfaithful.
How should I address this? Do I ask him and give him and opportunity to fess up or do I go directly to her and let her know. How do I start this conversation in a way that he would actually be forthcoming.

/r/datingoverthirty Thread