The Story: ing to take a little while, but I promise it’s worth it. I’m going to leave out some of the details, but am willing to elaborate on anything in the rest of the comments. Skip to tl;dr at the bottom if you’re a lazy bitch.

I am a mid-twenties male in the United States. Recently doing some online dating and was contacted on this relatively obscure dating app by this beautiful woman my age. Let’s call her ‘The Bitch.” She deleted her profile off of that app pretty much right after she offered her number and I texted her. Weird, but I figure she just didn’t want to get harassed by a bunch of dudes. I figure women are like chum in a shark tank on those things.

So right off the bat, The Bitch is very sweet and comforting. I’m talking wife material at day fucking 1. I have some niche interests and she seemed to genuinely be interested in the same things and lives literally less than 2 miles from me. We talked pretty much all day until about 6pm at which point she just stopped responding for the rest of the evening. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but I will elaborate on why this is important later.

The next day, she texts me first thing in the morning. We talk all day, from morning until past midnight. She shares photos of her place, her pets, a few of the things she makes while she makes them. She is breathtakingly gorgeous. Like makes my chest hurt, beautiful. I have been heavily guarded for a few years due to a very damaging and emotionally-abusive past relationship, but the things she says are quickly getting into my head and heart. Tried to reason myself away from it, but I couldn’t. Yeah, I know I’m a pussy, shut the fuck up. Let’s move on.

The Bitch shares a lot of very personal details about herself. Her family, her passions, her thoughts and ideas, the way she views life, love, and how she also doesn’t believe in any gods. This woman is perfect. Absolute perfection. And it is worth noting that I did not proactively share any information about myself that she was trying to copy. There was no way The Bitch could have known anything about me in that way, but we were lining up perfectly. I’m a moderately attractive guy, so, while somewhat surprising, it is not completely outlandish that a woman of this caliber would be into me. But still, my heart fluttered like a little bitch.

I’ve been royally fucked over by women in the past. It’s caused a lot of damage over the years, physically, mentally, and emotionally. But hey, such is fucking life.

The Bitch is really digging me at this point. I send some pictures of myself, she does the same. It’s all looking too good to be true. She had mentioned previously that she had gotten out of a really abusive relationship. This used to be a red flag, but I’m trying to date in my mid-twenties and it is astronomically improbable that I am going to find any chick that isn’t damaged. Fuck, even I’m damaged, so I don’t judge it. But still looking too good to be true.

So I decide to look her up. It takes a tad bit of digging as I didn’t have her last name, but I find her social media profiles. Immediately, I’m hit with her Facebook status: “In a relationship.” Of course, me being the pussy that I am, I try to rationalize it. I think to myself, “She got out of an abusive relationship where the dude was very controlling. Maybe she just hasn’t updated. After all, it doesn’t show a name.” I find some pictures of her and her “past” boyfriend. Some recent pictures. As just over a month ago. I find his profile. His profile picture is a picture of the both of them. I find more pictures of him and his brothers (will be important in a minute) And also find one very revealing detail.

She’s. Fucking. Pregnant.

Not super pregnant, but recently pregnant. Recently enough to where she probably isn’t showing much yet. I think to myself, “Okay, but she was supposedly just in an abusive relationship. Besides, that is a pretty scary detail to drop on somebody right after beginning to talk to them. I would probably not mention that immediately either.” Classic pussy rationale, I know. I’m a bitch. We’ve established that. If she wasn’t this goddamn beautiful, I would have NOPED the fuck out of here a while ago.

At this point, I’ve rationalized it enough to where I didn’t want to say that I knew for fear of outing her. After all, that is her conversation to start. And it hadn’t quite scared me away yet, though it definitely should have. All signs were pointing back to “The Bitch is pregnant and is still in a relationship.” She had talked about us meeting up multiple times and we were going to set something up in the next few days. So I’m not sure how she planned (or plans, as we’ll see later) to hide this. I looked back on a picture that she had sent of a drawing she’d done that she’d taken against her knees while laying down. After sending it, she quickly clarified that the tiny little rounded gray at the bottom of the photo was, in fact, a “pillow, not my tummy lol.” Bitch, please.

I decide to keep playing along, but am slowly waking up to the game. And then she goes and pulls this fucking stunt.

Says she’s going on a trip to another city a few miles away with her “family” and sends me a text in the morning that says “I hope you have a wonderful day,” implying that she won’t be speaking for the rest of the day. Okay, a tad shady but maybe she just doesn’t like to stare at her phone around her parents and siblings. I’ll play ball here.

Now you’ll remember that I’ve already seen pictures of her boyfriend and her boyfriend’s brothers. So the next day, she sends me a picture of her “brothers” eating breakfast, even gives me a full backstory on them. But I completely know that this is all horse shit. Those two are literally her boyfriend and her boyfriend’s brother. Completely confirmed. I am not giving her any indication whatsoever that I know anything about the situation, even enthusiastically playing along. Something about this woman really sucks me in, probably because I’m a sad, lonely piece of shit that secretly likes getting emotionally fucked over by beautiful women. The more beautiful, the worse they can treat me without me waking up to the fact that what they’re doing to me is overwhelmingly cruel.

We continue texting regularly after that.

This kind of game goes on and on, and the lies keep stacking up. It’s been over 6 days at this point. I’m just going to fast forward to now so you know what’s about to go down.

So yesterday (Saturday) morning we were having a pretty deep conversation. One that would be really weird and uncomfortable, though not damaging to our connection necessarily, if it were to get cut off abruptly. But that’s exactly what happened. Around noon, after sending each other particularly personal texts back and forth, she completely stopped responding. I just let it be, thinking either her boyfriend was back over to her place and she wasn’t able to get to the phone. I’m already coming up with plans on how to go about this at this point. But she never responded and the iMessage I sent following up never delivered, and still hasn’t as of almost 36 hours later, implying that she shut her phone off or put it in airplane mode. I would not be surprised. So my mind began to work it’s magic.

I’m tired of being fucked over by women. I am consistently the nice guy. Always have been. I know a lot of guys have said that, but I am serious. So much so, that it has gotten me into fucked up situations like this one a few times and put me in a 2.5 year emotionally abusive relationship with a different beautiful woman. This ends now. This will be the long con.

I have devised a system of going about this. 13 index cards worth of scenarios, possible motives, and how exactly I plan to go about this. It even includes contingency plans, but there are some obvious holes. I will post all of them if this blows up, and will ask for your help with ideas, revisions, etc.

I have reason to suspect The Bitch will text me back eventually, I would be pretty surprised if she didn’t. I don’t doubt that she’s actually into me, but there is a very small chance she figured out I was on to her. I highly highly doubt it, though. But I have a plan for both scenarios, which I will briefly detail here. I will elaborate if requested.

If she doesn’t ever contact me again: I have already taken pictures of all of the index cards, the unedited version of the picture above, have her contact information, could easily get her address, and know how to contact her boyfriend. The plan at this point would be to wait out the next 7ish months and drop the bomb on the day The Bitch gives birth to that gargoyle in her cunt muffin, as I’m certain she will post something about it on social media.

If she does contact me again: I have a system of possible scenarios that I can elaborate on if requested. This is already such a long post that I need to just get it up already and see if people dig it.

I promise that, if you guys want to see how this plays out, I will most certainly deliver. I can’t focus my mind on anything but this anyway and really just need to get it out there. There will be carnage left behind by this, whatever happens.

tl;dr: Met awesome Bitch on dating app. Bitch is coolest and most chill Bitch ever. Let my guard down completely. Turns out Bitch is pregnant, has sent me pictures of her boyfriend claiming that he’s her brother, took a trip with her boyfriend to another city while claiming it was her family, and a bunch of other shit. The Bitch has no fucking idea that I know. No fucking clue. I have literally over a hundred individual pieces of extremely damning evidence that I can, and will, absolutely wreck her life with. What do I do, Reddit?