I feel you. Sometimes people just play it safe which makes a cold impression. I've been engaged with a woman who always played it safe. She seemed to be really scared of rejection, I had to do everything, she never approached me but she clearly was attracted to me on many levels (you can trust me on that one). Anyway, after a while I got tired and gave up. I felt bad first but then I have realised that she might have been borderline or even something more toxic and I gave it up on thinking about her or about how she feels about me or about anything else. I just have realised that I don't need this (or even such) person to be so close to me. I'm still wondering whether I need her as a friend in my life... I'm not sure I would benefit from that anymore, knowing her real personality. Bottom line is, that the lack of empathy is a good sign, but you need to improve it into a lack of concern: who is this person to engage your thoughts? He is not that person anymore. You cared for them and they lost their right for your concern. You don't owe them anything, not even revenge or concern. You are building a beautiful life and these people have no right to intrude it especially with this kind of behaviour. Well, at least this helped me to distance myself from her, I hope it helps you too in some way.