Hey, I can relate very strongly since I was also born mennonite, but my family identifies more as/acts more like mainstream evangelical. My family never left the church and all still live in the small town I grew up in. The town is notorious for being ultra-religious, and has been in the news lately for being anti-vax, etc. The town is close to the US border (in Canada) and my family are trump supporters too. It's even more baffling when you're not even American!

I've lived far away since I was 18 (I'm 34) and we have very minimal contact. They desperately want a version of me 'back' that has never existed. I don't have one ally in my entire extended family, every single one is deep in the koolaid. When I visit (once every few years, less and less over time), I leave with suicidal thoughts that don't leave for a week or two. They have such vile opinions wrapped in fake smiles and niceties. It really fucks with my head.

I'm also 100% over being told I'm going to hell, I don't give a fuck if it's coming from a place of love and concern. The enormity of that idea... being tortured for eternity was part of why I could never buy into religion in the first place. I've lived a pretty colourful life, but nothing even close to deserving of that fate. I'd argue that not even the worst person to have ever lived deserves that fate. It's so disproportionate that my mind can barely wrap around it. How can anybody worship a god who's that vindictive.

Anyway, I feel you OP. I live a very solitary life now. Not sure I'd say I'm lonely anymore, just alone, but I was for a very long time. I hope that you can find peace without them. This sub is very therapeutic for me. ♥

(Sorry for the rant)