Was just thinking about this from another post I just made.

I've been on FetLife since 2011, back when I was still in college. I live in a city, but it's definitely not the largest. Back then there seemed to be a lot more activity. I always like hearing from all sorts of people, but it was nice to know you might meet someone who you could engage with IRL.

I stopped paying as much attention to it once I got out of school, but had a rekindled interest as I got older and had more freedom. It's like a COMPLETELY different place now.

Despite there being a lot more users in number locally, I feel like there was some type of centrifugal force that separated groups of people. There are a lot of people that are 20+ years older than I am, and a lot that are younger (college). The thing is, the younger crowd have gotten super cliquey, frankly enough to be offputting. Most of the older crowd are divorced people looking to date. I feel like everyone my age (27-30) is on a couples account or is happily taken and doesn't want to talk to anyone.

Further on that note, it's become much more of a textbook "dating site" now. The rise of self-proclaimed Doms who act pompous and like every girl is already their personal submissive has increased...and personally I think it's because a certain type of person has found out they can easier prey upon others and then excuse their shittiness under BDSM, which is awful. The messages my girl friends get are AWFUL.

Now, I like talking to anyone who is willing to share regardless of what the identify as, but I swear the past couple years I've gotten more and more messages from gay guys, who, despite my profile explicitly stating I'm straight and not looking for one night stands (regardless of gender/orientation), are trying to fuck me. I don't mind chatting with men at all, but these guys aren't even down for conversation. They're blatantly ignoring my profile (if they even read it) and wishes, which would be a turn off anyway...like dudes, chill. And on the rare occasion where it seemed like we were having an intelligent discussion about kink, there would inevitably be a late-night message revealing they really want to XYZ.

All of this might sound as though I'm "picky" or screening too much, but I swear it just doesn't feel the same anymore.

TL;DR With the passage of time, numerous factors have converged to make FetLife into a very cold place. I rarely go on it now.