Of course it's not fair. But if you're going to expend a lot of energy getting upset about it, you're going to be one exhausted person. Truth is there are unfair standards...for gays, blacks, immigrants, Muslims (or anyone that looks like they might be Muslim) etc. There is a world of difference between tolerating your existence and being accepting of you. Truth is, in your lifetime, it's unlikely that you're going to experience total acceptance from every person.

I understand that being confronted in such a cruel way is deeply upsetting. That guy was waaaay out of line. I understand the feelings of outrage that your boss is more accepting of hetero affection that breaks the rules.

I was raised with this saying: 'a person convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.' It's a message to me that I can talk until I'm blue in the face, but some people won't change, even if 'policy' or 'work rules' force them to adopt different behavior. I'm a lot older than you and I've learned to keep my head high, follow the rules and not apologise for someone else's hang ups. But I let stuff like you described go. I'd absolutely point out to your boss other people's PDA slips to reinforce that you know and she knows that she treated you differently, but I wouldn't do it in an antagonistic way. The best revenge is living well, so that's what I try to do.