Original post:
I have this one friend named Cat she's 30 I'm 22. We met through mutual friends. She always has drama at work and never likes her boss. She changes jobs every year. She always has some illness or skin problem. She sometimes gets in arguments in arguments with her roommates where she ends up crying because they aren't as clean by her standards. She says people don't understand her sarcastic jokes and sometimes gets offended. Sometimes I make plans with her to go hiking on the weekend because she talks about wanting to lose weight.
We’ll make plans for one then she won't text me the day of until five saying ”sorry I slept in” she's done this with someone else for breakfast plans she's done it about three times to me. She just doesn't set the alarm because ”she knows she’ll wake up.” I always seem to be doing only what she wants to do. We went to a restaurant I loved, and she said we could never go back because they took the pasta she likes off the menu.
She makes comments about the way I look and my personality. I told her I was harassed and bullied so severely in high school. I had to transfer schools. She has made comments about how my hair looks fake and overprocessed. I dye my hair, so I know it doesn't look the healthiest, and she's never dyed or used heat on her hair, so I don't think she could give me advice. I go to school and sometimes work as a freelancer. She's made comments to me sometimes when we hang out like ”SOME OF US have work in the morning”
She says I ask too many questions because usually when I see my friends, I want to know what's going on in their lives. She doesn't ask many about me. I've gotten upset about her questions comments, but a mutual friend who I used to date says ”she probably thinks you ask too many questions or talk too much because she never stops talking about herself.” she's made comments like ”you either say nothing or express too much Love you though.” I have terrible social anxiety, and she struggles with it to.
I got her a big gift for her birthday, and she got me nothing. She usually gets upset when attention isn't on her. Some guys at a bar once were touching and harassing me and calling me pretty. She was jealous cause guys never do that to her. I was assaulted as a teenager, so I have a fear of strange men. I sometimes binge drink when I'm stressed.
I don't drink everyday or most weekends. I've been trying to cut drinking out of my life because I don't want to become a problem drinker. I see a therapist two times a week and always talk to my family about it.She's made comments about my drinking like ”oh my God your out of control and thank God your not drinking this weekend.” she also tries to baby me in front of people and take away my drink even if I'm having one beer. She smokes weed every single day.
When I ask her to do stuff, I love like going to the movies, she always says no and makes passive aggressive comments about how I should stop asking her about it. I've gone to six different concerts she likes even though I've never listened to those bands to be supportive. In the last couple of months, I've become silent and walked out when she's made passive aggressive comments because I don't want to go off and say mean things to a friend, so I storm off and go home.
She recently made a group chat sharing a photo of my friends and me from last year. I'm blackout drunk in the photo, and it's very embarrassing. I texted her to not post shit like that, and it's not funny. She said she didn't think anything of it before she posted because it was a nice picture. I just said whatever. I hadn't talked to her in a couple of weeks, and she texts me about how our relationship didn't stay healthy, and she doesn't want to stay friends anymore. I was blindsided but just said hope you the best. My other friends have said she's an intense person and its hard to be friends sometimes.
Am I bad friend? Am I a toxic friend? Is storming off really immature?