I have ADHD, OCD & severe anxiety, Schizoid personality disorder, major depression. Probably have some kind of mood disorder as well.

Im a literal man child and the only thing im good at is coming up for new ideas for artwork but i also have performance anxiety (and stupidity) when it comes to making art so im never going to be an artist at this rate.

I also abuse adderall on a daily basis (at least until i run out for the month) and use it to stay up all night doing absolutely nothing but lurking and occasionally posting on the internet.

I also have agoraphobia. I can't enjoy movies or TV shows or books either because I'm constantly afraid that i'll pollute the enjoyment i could get out of things i otherwise want to see by being myself.

Im hoping that doubling up on my abilify doses, without my doc knowing im doing it, will do something positive. I think im going to stop abusing adderall though because im wasting them by taking them & abilify at the same time (abilify blocks the adderalls from working).

The best way i can describe my life is that its like im bombarded with intrusive thoughts and most of these are bad and/or stupid ideas.

I'm also an internet addict, i spent 12-16 hours a day on my laptop or checking my phone. It's the only way I can calm myself down and feel relaxed