I was on pills for my depression for 3 years. Felt great. Got off them cold turkey (really regretted doing that). Depression grew again in 6 years. Back on them again. Feel much more stable like the last time.

My advice is you should find an observant psychiatrist. And be patient. It's a process and not an instant magic cure. I went through 6 different kinds (my previous psychiatrist was a bit impatient) that took bit to figure out which work better and which don't. Each might have different side effects. You need to be vigilant and observe and also report to your psychiatrist. Once you get it right, things may get better for you. But patience and trust is a must.

I get questions from people like "How do you know it works?". It's not like you hop out of bed and go "Tada! Today, I'm feeling super!". I couldn't answer that. But SO months later told me she's noticed my mood has changed for the better.

As far as side effects, for me, nausea starting out. One med made me it difficult to ejaculate. Girlfriend didn't mind that I can keep going for long periods without ejaculating early. When I did finally managed, it was intense. Sometimes gave me a headache if I had try hard to mentally get there. So good and bad? One med and I don't mean to scare you worsened my suicidal thoughts. I was glad I was being observant of myself and told my psychiatrist. She got me off them immediately to something else and I noticed the difference. At the moment I increased my dosage to max for trintellix (sp) and I'm actually having some sleep issues. So we're trying to work this out like taking it earlier in the day etc. Just got to be patient and put effort. It's worth it.

If you haven't found a psychiatrist or therapist yet because of fear and anxiety, don't worry because you're not alone. It was difficult for me too. But I eventually managed to do it twice in my life and it is way worth it. Take care. Things will get better. Small steps.