Making 65k doesn't make someone a breadwinner. If one family member's salary is the main source of income for the family then they're the breadwinner. You could have just stated you were the breadwinner. Not being mean, i'm just saying.

Either way, I'm not sure if an "ultimate resolution" is a good idea. It's sex with your fiance, not a business deal. There has to be some give an take. Other than that how is everything else in the relationship? Are you two connecting well? Are your parents or a sitter ever able to watch over your kids and you two go on dates? Because if the romance isn't going well, then that's going to carryover to the bedroom.