I think you and your husband should go to councelling. Its ok that he is the fix-it type of guy, but its not ok, that he cant do the emotional labour to handle his feelings when he cant fix it. That he shoves that mess on to you so you cant even be who you are and feel what you feel around your significant other because he cant handle his own issue with how helpless he feels? Not ok.

He needs to know how much extra stress and sadness he is causing, and it would be best if he learned in an environment where he has to consider it rather than just shove it on to you in anger.

You should consider couples councelling for this issue and treat it as an investment for the next situation life lands you in that will hurt and require a partner who can be counted on to be there, not run off in a huff because you hurt, and how dare you not be fixable right this second.