Thank you!

Yep. I think since my divorce she's decided she's going to make my life hell. She told me to my face that she'd rather me stay married and be miserable just so she could be happy. I have to walk on eggshells with her. I'm not the daughter she wanted. She would have preferred her sister's daughter "because we think alike and have the same interests." (She told me that too, also to my face). She wants a "mini her," and I'm about as far opposite from her as I can get. She keeps trying to fit a square into a round hole and gets infuriated when it won't fit no matter how hard she struggles and pushes. The only kind of music she likes is very soft instrumentals -- except with church. Louder music with singing is fine at church, but for some reason gets under her skin otherwise. I, on the other hand, have been a music lover since day one. I don't play instruments (unless the radio counts LOL) and prefer the stuff I grew up listening to. She says music other than what she likes is for teens and I need to grow up and find a new hobby. Preferably gardening or bird watching, cos that's what she's into.

I long for the kind of mother-daughter relationship I grew up seeing all my friends having, the kind I had with my former MIL ... where you are loved unconditionally, can be yourself and that's OK. If I become seriously ill at night, I know not to ask them to take me to the ER or call an ambulance "because the neighbors will think somebody died!" Why? Because their night vision is poor. And I'm not allowed to call anyone else for help, either.

In public, you'd think my mom especially was the sweetest woman ever. She speaks with this phony, sugary sweet voice and really puts on a great front. My dad is the E-Dad, she's the N-Mom. She acts and talks totally different behind closed doors. Gotta keep up those appearances, ya know! She even PRAYS in that sugary voice! Every time I'm thinking, "You may be able to fool a ton of people, but you're not fooling God! God sees what you're REALLY like!"