Full disclosure here, I ahven't dealt with infidelity in my private life. I am happily married, and that's all there is.
However, I find the subject fascinating, and have read books and articles and watched talks about infidelity.
Esther Perel has no idea what she is talking about when it comes to infidelity. Or, to be more precise, she knows what infidelity is, but chooses t treat it as "an experience to grow."
Mind you, it's an experience to grow if the woman is the cheater. If the man is the cheater, she all of a sudden has a talk about hundreds of years of oppression women had to suffer. She uses the same speech when she justifies women cheating, but in a different light. You see, for hundreds of years, women were not in control of their lives. Which is partially true. And then, in modern times, they are in control of their lives, so they should be able to cheat. And if they cheat, it's alright, because they are just rediscovering their own selves. And are "taking the power back."
Esther tells you, from a position of authority, that once one of the partners cheats, that is when you can start the journey of growth and discovery, making your relationship stronger. Which is nonsense. How two partners can't do the same without cheating is something she chooses to ignore.
Esther is a cheater herself. I think she was pissed off the handle it didn't go the way she wanted when she was discovered, and built this narrative about cheating being like fertilizer to a relationship.
she had a TED talk a few years back, and her conclusion was that cheating is purely economic, because many years ago women could not hold land and properties, and they were used as a commodity.
For Esther, the psychological and emotional fallout that comes after infidelity is discovered is nothing to spend too much time thinking about. Just focus on how much better your life will be now that your partner cheated!
Anyone taking her seriously will not be able to recover from infidelity, nor build a better relationship moving forward. She's a hack.