Lots of advice here on how to 'fit in'. This is the wrong way to go about it from the beginning.

What defines you can't - absolutely CANNOT - be purely the people around you. They can be important to you, they can be an integral part of life, a pillar of support whatever; but at the end of the day, accept that you yourself have value completely independent of anyone else's opinions or actions.

It doesn't mean you can't live for someone else's sake, it doesn't mean you can't let people all the way in. It does mean that doing so is a conscious decision on your part, knowing full well the person you are and the person you want to be, rather than something you fall into out of desperation or need for validation.

That's what becoming independent really means. Real growing up, not superfluous shit like pretending to be indifferent. It's a fundamental shift in perspective that comes from being comfortable with yourself - Your flaws and talents. Your weaknesses and your strengths. The foundation comes first, then follows confidence and security. Don't put this off with band-aids by trying to pander to other people's reactions.