For me, I have gone through anger, resentment, self pity, depression. Pretty much the whole gambit of miserable emotions. In the end, I had to be what I needed for myself and nurture myself the way I never was. I grieved the loss and now I am so far over my narc mom that I'm now dealing with my dad who was a useless tool that never really protected me from her even when he saw the massive damage it was doing (and he has been dead for 20 years).

I essentially got myself through it with a lot of self love. I started some years back using stuffed animals, something that many children have to help them self soothe. Narc usually don't supply these to us or in my case, take them away when they see we get benefit from them. I started there and learned to self soothe myself. Then I moved on to self soothing talk. Now I don't have nearly as many moments like that but still get some. What I did in my self care for me helped me get over the feeling of lack and emptiness I had from shitty narc mom and absent sucky dad. I still have some moments where I think 'god I wish I had normal decent parents' but I am a lot better and it is because I took care of me to the point that I did feel cared for if not by them or anyone else than by myself. In the end, I realized my own care for me was actually all that mattered and better for me due to trust issues I don't think will ever leave me.

Good luck and I hope you get though this and can feel better and leave it behind.