3. How did you cope growing older knowing your parents hate you?

How did you cope growing older knowing your parents hate you?

Okay I am female and I grew up in a conservative family and my parents liked my brother and hated me me. He got to go to an ivy league college and I had to work and support myself from a very young age and everything was a lot harder for me. Even when I was your age, they still had ways of making me cry. My job was embarrassing and reflected badly on them. (I was dealing blackjack for a little while). My divorce was humiliating for them because nobody in their family ever got divorced (he was a drunk who beat me.) They were always judging every little detail of my life. Nothing good I did was ever celebrated, every little bad thing was magnified. I could not believe they hated me, until I did. Then I felt very sad and alone and I cried a lot, in my tiny cheap apartment, all by myself.

It wasn't worth it! Those people were not worth one of my tears! They were selfish, narcissistic, hateful people, and nothing I ever did or ever could have done would have made them like me. They enjoyed seeing me hurt. My misery was their victory. They were glad to make me cry.

What to do? Distance yourself. Walk away. Don't judge yourself by the reflection you see in their eyes. Fuck 'em. Just walk away.

But first, for the sake of your dignity, take control of the situation. Tell them you are going "no contact" with them because of their history of toxic behavior, and this will be the last time you want to hear from them. Then block their number, don't respond to emails, don't see them at all. Leave town if you can. Erase them from your life. They will never change so you have to. Have more respect for yourself than they ever had for you.

I know how hard it is, believe me. I've been there. But eventually, you will get past it. The sooner you act, the sooner you will get this poison out of your life. Be tough, be determined, and just walk away. Then be proud of yourself for doing it.

Your post struck a nerve with me. There are a lot of shitty people in the world, and it isn't fair to have shitty parents. It leaves you feeling disoriented and depressed. The sooner you walk away from it, the sooner you will feel better. Find somebody else to love. Good luck to you.

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